No, Not Like Christmas At All

Not the best nor the worst.  This is my poem that came to me while on the way to work.  (And as always, a fantastic Nancy Wilson Christmas song is at the end of the post.)

No, Not Like Christmas At All

The drive to my work always seems the same

The roads have the same cars, the same buildings and Starbucks

person-holding-starbucks-cup-with-brown-beverage-903419
Woo, it’s Christmastime, and I’ve had too much coffee! (Photo by Isabella Mendes from Pexels)

I pass them all by, as I drive idly sighing

“No, it doesn’t feel like Christmas, not like Christmas, not at all.”

Why has Christmas eluded me this year?

This year of all years?

I walk to the building, key in the card

Walk to my cubicle, and then it all starts

“Hello, how is your day?  Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas,” or whatever you prefer

And then it begins and ends until tomorrow, and then it’s all the same

I drive to my apartment, throw off my coats

Eat something quickly, then quickly to bed

I dream of crazy things that have nothing to do with my dread

Wake with a start, no I can’t be late

close-up-photography-of-fawn-pug-covered-with-brown-cloth-374898
Must I wake up?

Place on my scarf and head into the dark

Driving past the same things, as you know when you started reading

Those things on my drive, those things I’ve been seeing

gray-and-white-kitten-on-white-bed-2061057
Yes, I must head to work

“No, it doesn’t feel like Christmas, not like Christmas, no not at all.”

I mutter to myself, as I scrape ice off my car for twenty minutes straight

This morning there is fog and it’s difficult to see

But would I see anything different, on this chilly morning at six-thirty-three?

A somber placating pain grows within

nature-forest-trees-fog-4827
Oh my, that’s a lot of fog – and when did I move to the Northwest?

Why am I so depressed and maudlin?

Why do I repeat? “No, it doesn’t feel like Christmas, not like Christmas, not at all?”

My home isn’t decorated with baubles and balls, lights and twinkling sights

Homemade snowflakes, Santa’s, holly, and ivy

Greenery that clutters my hall and my rooms

No there is none of that at all, not one bit for my eyes to consume

interior-design-of-a-house-1571460
[generic OCD home]
My floors are covered in cleaner and the counters too

All spic and span with only Christmas songs playing

In the background – the only reminder of the season

There is to be no foreign trees, nor foreign decorations

Thankfully, I have lit a pine smelling candle to bring about my senses

red-lighted-candle-714898
(Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) from Pexels)

The evergreen scent fills the air and brings back my attention

“Yes, that’s sort of like Christmas – that scent there!”

I bake homemade cookies and homemade pies

“Yes, that’s the smell I’ve longed for deep inside!”

And the love that I feel for those close to my heart

“Yes, that’s the Christmas I’ve desired and known always

Since the moment this began!”

bakery-beverage-bread-669733
Yes, good friends and good food

This is Christmas, what it truly means

And this feeling cannot hide, nor can it be snuffed out by piles of chloride

For it doesn’t feel like Christmas, not the Christmas of old

For this is the Christmas that I must learn to know

Train my thoughts that Christmas is not what is outside

But inside one and all’s heart, and that’s a Christmasim001381.jpg

I’ve known from the very start

“Yes, this doesn’t feel like Christmas, not like Christmas, not at all.”

Not the Christmas of yesterday, but a Christmas of today

So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

Enjoy one and all, and to all a goodnight

Because where there is love, all will be right

Feliz Navidad!

Have a goodnight Grace! 🙂 ❤

2 thoughts on “No, Not Like Christmas At All

  1. Loved this 🙂 And I guess it was a good reminder for me that just because it doesn’t feel like what I remember of Christmas, it’s still that beautiful time of year. Things change as we get older and now I can start my own traditions. Christmas doesn’t always have to stay the same to be enjoyed and cherished and create new memories. Thank you Val!

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